Women choose adoption for many reasons—from infertility to repeated miscarriages to medical issues. But whatever your story, there’s something important you need to know: Adoption does not make you pregnant. This may seem obvious on the surface, but let me explain.
Adoption Doesn’t Cure Infertility. Even though you’ve made the exciting and life-changing choice to adopt a child, your emotional pain won’t just disappear. Infertility is a long and tough road with many struggles and disappointments. You will still grieve for the child you couldn’t give birth to. You may feel angry or sad that your body failed you. You may even be upset with yourself. These are all normal reactions. It’s okay to look to the future with hope, but be sure to take steps to heal your past and resolve any issues infertility has caused.
You Won’t Suddenly Become Pregnant. Friends and relatives may announce with certainty: “Now that you’ve decided to adopt, I’ll bet you get pregnant!” Although this does happen on occasion, it’s pretty rare. And, if you’re like me, you may not even want to get pregnant anymore. I remember when we first began the adoption process, I was so excited and hopeful for our new future and couldn’t wait to meet our child. I had come to terms with my past and was certain adoption was the right path. Getting pregnant was no longer a goal or even a desire. If you find yourself still hoping to get pregnant one day, consider holding off on adoption for a while. Be sure you are ready and fully committed before moving forward.
Adoption Can’t Replace the Child You Once Dreamed Of. Losing a baby at any stage of your pregnancy is like a death. You will grieve for your unborn child, and your loss will stay with you for life. A quote I read after I miscarried comes to mind:
“Each life, no matter how fragile or brief, forever changes the world.” – Author Unknown
After I became pregnant, I was a different person. I felt the changes my body endured while each new life grew inside of me, and I suffered the unimaginable pain of losing those lives. To honor their memory, I planted rose bushes for my unborn babies and wrote poems. I had names picked out both times and never used them. Those names, Kristen Lea and Kara Rose, were meant only for them.
Once we brought our precious daughter home through the miracle of adoption, she had her own special, unique name. She brings so much joy to our lives, and we love her with all our hearts. But she is not a substitute for the babies we lost. I was a mother of three children. Two are angels, and one is our greatest blessing on earth.
If you are considering an adoption photolisting, visit Adoption.com/photolisting to view many adoptable kids ready for a forever home.