1. Adoption Is Attainable Even If You Aren’t Rich

My husband and I had always planned to adopt. We knew we wanted to and were called to adopt. However, we were very disheartened that it would never happen due to the high cost. We are only middle class and simply destined to never be rich. The only examples of adoption we saw were those who had money to burn. It wasn’t until the adoption was presented to us that we found out we could find ways to afford it. Through a low-interest loan, budgeting, and crowdfunding, we have now adopted twice. Our first adoption was from foster care which costs next to nothing. Knowing that adoption was attainable would have certainly made us consider adoption sooner. I now use my experience to educate others that adoption is possible for those with limited funds! It may take work, but it is certainly possible.

2. The Need is Overwhelming

It is often difficult to fathom the need there is for homes for children. It is hard to see children in foster homes, orphanages, and on the streets. It is too difficult and too painful to try to comprehend the vast shortage of homes for these children. If the world really understood and had a full picture of the need, many would be shocked. According to Adoption.com, “ Worldwide, some 17,900,000 children are without families and living in orphanages or on the streets. They face a variety of health problems due to a lack of good health care and the proper attention required for healthy development.” 17,900,000. Just let that number sit with you for a moment. Not hundreds. Not thousands. Millions of children are without homes. If you are more concerned with what is happening within the United States, Adoption.com notes, “In 2012, 23,396 children reached 18 years of age in the U.S. foster care system.” 23,396 children ages out of the foster care system without a family to call their own. This is simply unacceptable. Entering into the adoption world and discovering the facts, my husband and I felt duty bound to act. When we can no longer pursue foster care or adoption, our time, our money, our support will go towards the goal of every child having a family.

3. The Value of Birth Parents 

I had only ever heard about closed adoptions. In my mind, adoption was taking a child who was abandoned or “given up” by someone who did not care for them and giving them a “real” family. I am aware of how horrible this sounds, but this was all that I knew. After my husband and I adopted, I could not imagine just leaving with my daughter and her never knowing her biological family. It just did not make sense to me. I could see the love they had for her and how much it was never a situation where she was not wanted. She was incredibly loved. Her birth mother, though she could not parent, would have parented her in a heartbeat if she could have. She loves her more than anything in the world just as a great mother would. There seems to be this negative stereotype of birth parents I wish would finally be put to rest. While there are situations that warrant closed adoptions, there is rarely a situation where a birth parent doesn’t “deserve” contact with their child as the stereotype proclaims. Many of these people are mothers and fathers who simply chose what was best for their child out of love. I have met and spoken with so many amazing birth parents who continue to want the best for their children while sacrificing the life they wanted for the life they could give their child. If that does not make a person deserving of love and respect, I don’t know what does.

I have learned an incredible amount about adoption since adopting and becoming an adoption advocate. I am continuing to learn with each new day. As my children grow, their ability to adapt and understand their own story is inspiring. Regardless if you plan to adopt, support adoption, or simply want to understand adoption, the best thing you can do is to educate yourself through the experiences of others. Do not let your assumptions or stereotypes guide you. Spend some time on sites like Adoption.com reading articles and learning about the beautiful journey adoption provides.

The post Three Things I Wish I’d Known Before Adopting appeared first on Adoption Blogs | Birth Mother, US & International, China.

An adoption blog is beneficial for many reasons, but the foremost being that it helps you document event and emotion. Adoption journeys are very often filled with highs and lows. I can attest that both of my adoption journeys were not only completely different, but both filled with events I learned and grew from as a result. There were also parts of both adoption journeys that seem like a complete blur. When the journey is over and the adoption final, there is this huge desire to push forward and regain some sense of normalcy. This is another reason why it is so important to document your journey. An adoption blog provides for such an opportunity and may help clear some of the more blurry moments after the fact. 

Part of learning and growing through an adoption journey is learning from mistakes and also rejoicing in triumphs. As you experience these triumphs, documenting them will not only be nice to look back on, but will be helpful if you ever adopt again. Adopting twice ourselves, my husband and I felt a little more prepared and knew the ins and outs of much of the paperwork and process. As we documented much of the learning opportunities that came with our adoption, we knew what to avoid, what to look for, who to hire, and what mistakes we could change the second time around.

Documenting your adoption journey in blog form is a fantastic way to keep family and friends informed about what is going on throughout the journey. While you will have to use discretion regarding what information you share due to stipulations on what you are allowed to share an when many of your friends and family may be invested in your growing family and want a way to keep up to date on news you can share. An adoption blog is a central place for them to go to get updates and also know updates will be posted rather than inquiring with you directly.

An adoption blog is also a great way to educate others on adoption and the beauty of the process. While my blog availability on a website is under construction, my blogging on social media has been met with a response from people I have never met but have felt inspired or connected through my adoption journey. I receive messages weekly from people all over the country wanting to know how to get involved in foster care and adoption. An adoption blog not only holds your memories and connects family, but it can also connect and inspire other prospective parents to pursue adoption and provide a child a forever home.

The post Why Should I Even Start An Adoption Blog appeared first on Adoption Blogs | Birth Mother, US & International, China.

1. Be over the age of 18. This might seem like a no-brainer since most states will not release closed adoption records to anyone under the age of 18 anyway. However, it is extremely important that you are a legal adult before finding your birth parents unless you have spoken with your adoptive parents and received their consent first. Not only is it courteous, but is also their right as your parents to refuse to allow you to meet with your birth parents until you are a legal adult.
2. Be in a stable place in your life. A full-time job, a marriage, a child, having something concrete in your life to keep you grounded and centered. Searching and finding your birth parents is an emotionally and mentally exhausting journey filled with ups and downs that you may have never thought possible. The additional stress of being in an unstable position in your own life can leave you in an emotionally vulnerable position that may lead you to make rash decisions regarding your search. 
3. Have a strong support system. Family, friends, counselors, clergy, people who genuinely want what’s best for you are extremely important to have to support you while you search for your birth parents. This search is life changing and at times can be overwhelming. Having a strong support system will ensure that you have the stability needed to deal with whatever your search turns up.
4. Have realistic expectations. Most people that have had a child will tell you that when they held their child in their arms for the first time, they felt a powerful, unbreakable love that they never could have imagined towards the little one in their arms. Only the most extreme of circumstances would drive a parent to trust another with something as precious as a child. Keep that in mind as you search for your birth parents. The circumstances surrounding an adoption of any kind are generally complicated and turbulent. Being prepared for both the best and worst case scenarios will help you better navigate such intricacies when they arrive.
5. Move forward with caution. For every wonderful, joy-filled reunion story, there is another reunion that is filled with only toxicity and pain. Take precautions to protect yourself against those who may try to take advantage of your circumstances or enthusiasm.
6. Have an open mind. The people you came from may be very different from what you imagined they would be, or they may be exactly what you always thought they were. Search carefully and be ready for the road to be bumpy and full of twists and turns. There is always the possibility that your search may turn up empty for several reasons even with the best tools available at your disposal. However, you are likely to turn up something if you are patient and thorough in your search.

Everyone is different and there is no real way to know when you’re ready to search for your birth parents. However, this list is a good guide to help you as you make the decision and start your journey.

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